My inspiration for starting this blog came from Mr. Mike Morton, columnist for the Newton Kansan, our daily paper here in Newton, Kansas (or had you figured that out from the name?). On April 7th of last year, Mr. Morton's On the Loose column focused on the life of a single person. He talked of the freedom that comes from having no witnesses to your questionable personal habits. According to Mr. Morton, the "male side of 'singledom'" includes using a single fork to butter toast, scramble eggs, and stir coffee, all in an attempt to wash as few dishes as possible. The single man also drinks straight from the milk carton and does laundry only as a last resort. Mr. Morton closed his column with these remarks:
Being single ain't exactly a bed of roses.
"Footloose and fancy free?"
Not exactly. The single man is on his own, so there's no one to remind him he's running low on groceries, he has an appointment or "Mother's coming to visit."
And what about the single woman?
Let's put it this way.
This is deep water I refuse to enter, and I am very, very sure not entering is one of the wisest things I have ever done.
(Read Mike Morton's entire column "The Carefree Life of a Single Person" here.)
This article hit me where I live, so to speak. The "deep waters" of the single woman have been my swimming ground for my entire adult life. And though I could relate to some of Mr. Morton's musings on the life of the single male, I felt as though I might have something to add as an experienced single female. Furthermore, in the last few years, I've been encountering more and more thirty-something (or older or younger) singletons like me, and I felt we needed a voice.
So I sent Mr. Morton an e-mail. And here's what it said:
Thank you very much for your article in April 7th's The Newton Kansan. As a fellow singleton, I appreciate any attempt to share our reality with a world built for two.
The "deep water" of the single woman? You may refuse to enter, but I'm living it every day. So let me take a whack at it.
A single woman:
--moves heavy furniture by herself, one inch at a time, rather than wait until friends or family stop by to help. (Last month, I lugged a china cabinet up a flight of stairs by myself while my feline roommates watched in bemused amazement.)
--makes friends with the guys at the service station. She has to; having no spouse to drop her off and pick her up (or just take care of the darn car himself), she spends many hours hanging out in the repair shop's waiting room.
--never ages. If she wants cold pizza and chocolate chip cookies for breakfast, who's going to stop her or look on disapprovingly? There are no little ones around for whom to be a good example; therefore, spoonfuls of peanut butter straight from the jar are completely acceptable. At 35 years old, I'm the proud owner of a pair of Snoopy and Woodstock "footsie" pajamas, which are often worn until noon on Saturdays.
Yet...
--appreciates being treated as an adult. I've been on my own since college; couples, stop sending wedding invitations and Christmas cards to my parents with my name tacked on.
--wouldn't mind meeting Mr. Right someday but, for the most part, she's pretty okay with her life as it is.
And these probably apply to both single men and single women. A singleton:
--always gets to watch his/her favorite TV shows, eat his/her favorite foods, and keep the thermostat where he/she wants it.
--is usually more comfortable on her/his own rather than with a crowd of people. Friends and family think they are doing singletons a favor by keeping them company, but often, we're just fine on our own.
--doesn't have time to be footloose and fancy-free; she's/he's too busy doing all the work that a married couple (and perhaps their well-trained children) share: take out the trash, mow the lawn, wash the dishes, do the laundry, pay the bills, dust the bookshelves, vacuum, get the car serviced, buy groceries, fix meals, buy and send birthday presents and cards, file the tax return, renew the car registration, fix the dripping faucet, sew on the loose button, make food for the office party or family gathering, load and unload the car from trips, take the cat to the vet, and, of course, haul the china cabinet up the stairs.
Thanks, again, for your article!
Mr. Morton liked what I had to say and asked permission to use my comments in a future column. I agreed, and a few weeks later, with his own folksy flavor mixed in, our joint column appeared in the Kansan. (Read it here, if you like.)
In the following weeks, the kind comments I received from friends and family, from singletons I know through church and through work, convinced me that a consistent voice of modern-day singles might be a welcome addition to the conversation of the day. A few months of brainstorming and hemming-and-hawing, and "Table for One" was born!
Looking back at my e-mail to Mike Morton, there's only one thing I would change. After having experienced "Snowmageddon 2011," I would add that a single woman also shovels 17 inches of snow off her own 40-foot-long driveway.
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